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Dead Men Walking

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Written by Cotter   
October 10, 2011 20:11

Alright, so let's just get this out of the way right now...

Man, if you're going to follow up a shit show like last week with a 38-17 bitch slap, it doesn't get much better than that.

The Steelers controlled the entire game, with a few situational exceptions, and fully re-invigorated our faith in their ability to lay down the law. As if there was any doubt...

Just about everything was different.

Ben was only sacked once (though they had clearly adjusted the game plan understanding the reality of the o-line), and threw for FIVE TDs (two to Hines Ward)!

Woodley had two sacks (officially 1.5), and a pick!

Jonathan Dwyer (!) had 107 yards on 11 carries, grabbing 76 of them on one spectacular run!

And when was the last time you can remember the Steelers executing a fake punt, for Christ's sake?

You can't really ask for much more than almost racking up 40 points on one of the league's best defenses.

I mean, maybe I'm wrong, but I'm just saying, in this game the Steelers had...

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm really just challenging myself to find ways to work the most ridiculous things I can think of into blog posts about the Steelers this season.

Anyway, I'm not going to pretend like we're all of a sudden out of the woods or something.

After all, we're only 3-2, one game back from the Ravens (kind of), and even with the Bengals, with continuing injury problems, and it's only week 6 of a 17 week season. 

But at the same time, I'm not going to pretend like I wasn't doing this all over my apartment on Sunday...

So, hey, I'm sure I could go on and on, gushing like a little girl about how dreamy this game was, but I doubt you need that.

Hence, I'm going to stick to the usual routine and just pass the torch along to the "Things That Were Awesome" and "Things That Were NOT Awesome."

Lights, camera, action!

Things That Were Awesome:

1. Gotcha, suckers!

We all know Daniel Sepulveda kicks like a racehorse and tackles like a linebacker, but who knew he could pull off some Jedi shit like this?





2. Well, hello running game...

Nice of you to finally join us this season.

Now, look, I'm sure there are some of you out there going, "Oh, Rashard Mendenhall was the problem. The Steelers should start Jonathan Dwyer."

Let's not get crazy now.

Rashard Mendenhall is still a boss, and still the most talented running back on the Steelers roster.

Extreme kudos to the kid for his performance, though.

And equally, you don't think Redman had any part in helping pound on the Titans so Dwyer could sneak the 76-yard run by them?


It's a team game, Smokey.

That all said...


Congratulations to both Dwyer and Redman for thoroughly violating the Titans defense in Mendenhall's absence.

And here's to hoping for many repeat performances.

3. Cam Heyward strip sack...

Love to see young blood making some noise, even if it was pretty much meaningless, and the Steelers didn't recover (not that that mattered either).

I doubt I have to remind you that this was only game 5 of the kid's rookie season.

4. Hope Warren Sapp was watching this game...

The wily old veteran Hines Ward strikes again.

And unlike lightning, he struck in the same place twice - the end zone.

As for the ranking gray hair on the other side of the ball, 36-year-old James Farrior, how about leading the team with 13 tackles?

Warren Sapp didn't even play to see 36, let alone net 13 tackles on guys like 10 years younger than him at that ripe old age.

5. Benny...

24/34, 228 yards, FIVE TDs.

A week after placing his life on the line, to be able to go out there, limping and all, and play like that...

That's my quarterback, man.

Honorable Mention 1:

Max Starks had what, like three days to prepare for Sunday?

Then he put in 60 minutes of high octane football with zero training camp and zero games played this season.


If anyone deserves a Men At Work golf clap this week, it's this guy. 

Honorable Mention 2:


iPhone auto-corrects Pouncey to "Pounder."

Smart phone, indeed.

Things That Were NOT Awesome:

1. Worst looking pick ever thrown...

Don't bother debating it, it's scientifically proven.

If you don't know what I'm referring to, do yourself a favor and keep it that way.

2. Rough day for the boys from Florida...

Pouncey and Gilbert both injured at different points.

I dream of someday getting through a game without any injuries to our offensive line - emotional or physical.

Among other things...

3. Dude, wtf...

Two weeks in a row with a kick/punt having been blocked.

Who's the asshole not doing their job, here?

4. Did Anthony Smith really bat down TWO of Ben's passes?

It boggles the mind.

5. This mess...

Apparently Arnaz Battle and Stevenson Sylvester belong on the Ike Taylor hands team.

But at least it gave birth to this screen shot, which has already long become an internet sensation.


And, with that, it's time to bring this piece to a close.

3-2, with the Jagoffs on the horizon.

Ravens play Houston next week, Bangles play Curtis Painter and the Colts.

Gotta keep this train rolling to keep pace within the division.

Feel free to share some love for these guys in the comments.


Here we go.

If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, and follow Cotter on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

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